I am not enough. There I said it.
Now I could say the above to apologize for my extended absence from posting on here, or I could share that I have a hard time sharing healthy eating strategies while downing some dollar store Easter candy that my aunt brought over to the house for my kids, but I really do so because I want to be real and just share that I screw up more than I get it right.
My wife sent me this GIF recently (she is a true GIF connoisseur) and it made me laugh so hard. I don’t know how many times I’ve been in this scenario, sweaty, hair disheveled, sitting on the side of a road with my gut hanging out wondering how it all got so messed up. I have an affinity for Alan (pictured above) and it isn’t just because I own (and proudly wear) a “One Man Wolfpack” t-shirt. It’s because I’m a mess much of the time. I have good intentions in general, but there is a gap somewhere between my intentions and my actions. A gap that I can never seem to close. In short, I’m broken.
I’ve been taking a lot of inspiration from music lately and a song by Matthew West called Broken Things has really been encouraging me that I don’t have to be perfect to have value.
In the song, he shares,
The pages of history, they tell me it’s true, that it’s never the perfect, it’s always the ones with the scars that you use
In 2 Corinthians, chapter 12 Paul shares about a “thorn in his side” that keeps him humble. He goes to God multiple times asking for it to be taken away and in verses 9 & 10 he gives God’s reply.
But he said to me,”My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I am so glad that my inability to be perfect doesn’t dis-qualify me from having a purpose. That my inadequacies don’t stop me from having achievements. That my failings don’t keep me from finding joy. For just like the old rusted sign pictured at the top of this post, I can point the way to One who makes all things new.
And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Revelations 21:5a ESV